Monthly Archives: March 2012

baby mama drama.

It occurred to me recently that I’m at the age now where my friends are actually choosing to have children. Cute kids with expensive strollers and BabyGap clothes and adorable photos in sepia tone. But, you know, that doesn’t mean everyone has their shit together.

ANYWAY. This week’s craft was supposed to be finished two months ago, on or around the time that my nephew and his ex-girlfriend were having a baby. I’m happy to report that we’ve successfully removed ourselves from that situation as the baby proved not to be my nephew’s after all (thanks, science!).

Still, I had come to terms with the fact that I was probably going to be a great-aunt and thought I would do something cute for my great-nephew, Frankie. I bought a trio of coordinating Onesies with the intention of doing a little dinosaur appliqué on each.  Then, as it got closer to the date, I started dragging my feet. Was I really going to put my heart into this, take all this time and then give it to that trashy family where they wouldn’t actually care about my efforts? A derailing, craft-induced ego trip, I know, but still. I was angry about the frustrations these people were causing my family.

I almost gave the Onesies to Goodwill but I decided they were too cute. I’d find a baby to put them on! I finally got around to putting them together this weekend.

First, I found cute dinosaur images on the internet. I’d give credit but that information is on my home computer and I’m work-blogging. I traced them and made dinosaur stencils to work from. I cut out the images from felt using an Exacto knife and my self-healing mat.

As is the case with all crafty undertakings, there was a set-back during this process. That set-back being that I didn't think to check under my felt for stray dinosaurs or stencils and beheaded both the T. rex stencil and felt cut out while detailing that stegosaurus. Dammit.

I pinned the felt dinosaurs onto the Onesies and used the blanket stitch the whole way around the dinos.

Brain-pin.

And voila!

Look at his little french-knot eye! I've done my first french knots, I'm like a real craft-lady.

A trio!

Now, someone make a baby for me to clothe.

Seriously though, having kids? #WTF. No offense to all the parents out there, many (MANY!) of the parents I know are amazing people.  It’s just that I think this animal-like urge to produce another human clouds judgment so much so that people actually start to act against their own best interests, i.e: Snooki. That woman is genetically a couple strands away from being a cat in heat. She just writhed around and moaned and ruined shit until something impregnated her. If you watch the video from the link below, I’m pretty sure you can hear Snooki in the background yelling “Somebody fuck me or I’m pissing on everything!”

zoo-creatures.jhtml#id=1629734

So yeah.

Next week’s project will be wrapping up a knit project I’ve been working on for the last two weeks, which I will totally finish on the MegaBus on my way to visit Rae in Philadelphia! I need this trip. Hard.

 

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Filed under crafts, generally awesome, sewing

pinteresting.

Decided to take up a challenge posted by one of my favorite (and hopefully very soon, relevant) blogs: Young House Love. The young lady running that show and some of her friends decided that we should not just pin in vain, but craft again! That’s my new motto.

 

SO. I’m going to jump into the Pinterest challenge myself, by working on the Needlepoint Clutch that I’ve been a bit obsessed with since finding it on PurlBee. Click on the title for the tutorial.

Needlepoint Clutch, via Purlbee.com

This means that I need to figure out where all my needlepoint stuff is right now and probably make a trip out to JoAnn’s this weekend.I’m thinking of doing neutral with neon accents, as that seems to be the vogue. I love working with needlepoint btw, and haven’t really done a project since the altogether too-detailed Golden Girls picture. Too bad I never took any photos before I gave it away.

This also means that, while digging out my gear, I’ll probably do a little spring cleaning of my craft supplies. I might be giving away some of my extra crap, I’ll keep you all posted.

 

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too much time on my hands.

Ah, Pinterest. I waste all day at work looking at you and then waste my time at home trying to do the things you do.

Thanks to Pinny, I got a little more obsessed with nail polish than I’ve ever been before. This has lasted like 2-3 weeks. I’m already over it, I think. I was inspired by the tutorials over at Chloe’s Nails.

Funky tips for a dressy party. They look great because I angled my hands in such a way that you cannot see all the mistakes. Also my hands are hideous, that finger closest to the camera looks like it's swollen.

I actually painted these and then fretted about not having the right outfit to wear to compliment them. I need therapy.

Anyway, I could spend my time doing even more useless things. Be glad I haven’t gotten into amateur puppeteering.

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lundi gras.

I gave up blogging on time for pre-Lent. For real Lent, I’m giving up giving up blogging.

Kait seriously loves to host, she knocked it out of the park. The coins! The baby cake! The garland!

If you haven’t guessed from the title of this post, I celebrated Fat Monday instead of Fat Tuesday this year. And I celebrated this ever important holiday with my closest crafty friends at a craft party (note the compulsory upgrade from “night” to “party”). Kait went all out: decorations, glitter buffet, hurricanes and red beans.

We really operate on a level just above summer camp. And I think the only reason it's a higher level is because we have legal access to booze.

I was damn sure I was in New Orleans;  Jodi even flashed Ife for beads. There was such a good response to Kait’s craft party invitations that we had to work in shifts. There was a queue for the glue guns.

If you think a party with 10 available glue guns would have enough glue guns for any situation, you'd be wrong.

Anyway, since we’re soooooo far from the date at this point, I’m keeping it short and sweet. Here’s a collage of some of the masks:

Clockwise from top left: My mask "mask (#2)," AJ's "fabulagasm," Chelsea's "I'm Too Pretty for my Face," Kait's "Dobby on Ice"

Anyway, the night was (as always!) a big success. I got that strange baby in my cake and was thus King of… well… I honestly don’t remember from French class, I guess King of the Craft Party. I was a judicious leader, mostly using my crown for great photo ops and not to take people’s land or attack Spain or anything.

Instagram: You'd be surprised how easy it is to make ugly stuff look kind of good by making it blurry. Oh wait, that's how one night stands work.

As for my recent absence, I think I’ve mentioned something about working at a new place. It’s been a lot making such a drastic change. Yinz know me: I worked with Trent for four years, dating for a lot of that, and this is the first time we’ve been really separated. I work 10-5, he works 6-whoknows? On top of the normal new job stress and a transitional period in my relationship, I sold my car last month (a combination of things made this a necessity, including the fact that I can’t park at my new job) so I’ve been walking and busing everywhere. Maybe one day, I’ll craft an offering to the public transit gods in hope they hear me and know my pain. (The next time some jerk from out in bum-fuck rural Pennsylvania bitches that his taxes shouldn’t go to pay for bus infrastructure in Pittsburgh, I’m going to absolutely lose my shit.) On top of all this, we’re still actively looking for a house and things just feel constantly tenuous. I’m totally fine, I’m a tough lady, but more than I’d like to admit, I can commiserate with Allie Brosh, over at Hyperbole and a Half. I love you guys for reading. I do.

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Filed under craft night!, for shame, Uncategorized