Category Archives: inspiration

decisions.

So I’m at a crossroads. In honor of summer weather, I wanna use this granny-ass looking fabric to make something cute for my bottom. I have almost 2 yards of it.

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Shall it be the Not-Yo-Gramma’s mini skirt?

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H&M get-up

Or the Bingo Bag Shorts?

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Forever 21 Paperbag shorts

Unfortunately, when it comes to questions like this, Socrates is no help. He only cares about making it impossible to sit at a desk.

That is 18 pounds of pure apathy right there.

Speak up!

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Filed under inspiration, sewing, Uncategorized, vintage looks

blockbuster.

So a while back… we’re talking March here… I decided that I was going to try to knock out a couple of my favorite Pinterest projects. This didn’t go as planned exactly (what does?) but I am here to announce that I have completed this challenge to myself. Sort of.

I started to make that amazingly cute little clutch. It’s seriously cute. I went with a hot pink and taupe color scheme because I had a lot of those colors in DMC thread laying around from the Golden Girls needlepoint I did last year. Oh god, I need pics of that so bad.

I’m slightly further along now than at the time of this photo, but I’m out of embroidery floss AGAIN.

Little did I know that I would need a metric fuck-ton of the stuff. After buying out all of my local JoAnn’s stock of DMC 600 and 611 and the surrounding colors and hoping they’d just look cool and variegated, I still didn’t have enough. SO. That project is on hold.

In the mean time, I picked a different project from my “Shit I Like” board. Berroco offers free patterns on their websites and the Espenson was calling to me.

Today’s word of the day is Caftan. Caftan (noun): a potentially frumpy sweater, ideally worn while staring over your right shoulder at nothing at all.

Lucky for me, I had the perfect yarn handy. You see, one day at work, my boss proposed a bonding experience that involved a 3 hour excursion to get Chik-Fil-A, go craft shopping and drink milkshakes. My boss is a 37 year old straight man. My coworker, Alfred, called it “the worst day of his life.” You win some, you lose some, Alfred.*

So I set to work. And damn it was a lot of work. I learned a few things, like how to increase and decrease stitches and that, for who-knows-what reason, the TSA totally lets you take knitting supplies on airplanes. Tell me how that’s logical.

I mostly finished the thing while I was on a plane home from a wedding in San Diego. When I got home, I stitched it up the sides and put it on.  IT WAS FRUMP CITY. I just didn’t understand it. It was heavy and had no stretch. I should have gotten a photo with it on, but I was damn embarrassed.

Imagine, if you will, putting this on while laying down, then standing up and having it retain that EXACT shape.

I put it in a pile of clothes that I have to repair and consigned myself to just ripping the whole thing out. I was a little sick over it actually. I spent at least 30 hours on this thing. Let’s do some math:

Yarn: 5 balls at about $5/each (sale, woo!) = $25

Time: 30 hours at minimum wage ($7.25/hour) = $217.50

This sweater is worth $242.50. Just think about the last time you spent nearly $250 on an item of clothing. Yeah, never, right? Ok, ok… I know some folks reading this have, but I’m no Oprah. Occasionally I get dressed and realize, hours later, that I’m dressed head-to-toe in House of Goodwill. I fretted over pulling the whole thing out, but I knew it was the best thing for both of us. Just like putting the family dog to sleep.

Then I discovered the knitter’s miracle. BLOCKING.  Oh my lord. I came home from work that day, ripped out the side seams and got the whole thing wet. Just like putting the family dog to sleep.

Get it wet, pin it to something and the rest will take care of itself…

So this is the final result. Pretty swift, huh?

The caftan is cool, but check those earrings. Trent’s amazing at buying me things.

Sincere apologies to my girl Em for wearing leggings as pants in this photo. I’m not gonna lie, I’ll probably do that in public too.

Up next, something summery. It’s fucking hot.

*Note that this trip was inspired by Alfred’s deep seated hatred for the awkward teenage boy that works in our local Chik-Fil-A, offering to grind fresh pepper on your sandwiches and insisting that you take mints. We’ve all had separate encounters with the kid, only Alfred hated him. This trip was entirely about witnessing the interaction between Alfred, a 60 year old queen, and the minty fresh pimpled pepper grinder, but the kid wasn’t working that day. Worst day of our lives, indeed.

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Filed under generally awesome, inspiration, knit

pinteresting.

Decided to take up a challenge posted by one of my favorite (and hopefully very soon, relevant) blogs: Young House Love. The young lady running that show and some of her friends decided that we should not just pin in vain, but craft again! That’s my new motto.

 

SO. I’m going to jump into the Pinterest challenge myself, by working on the Needlepoint Clutch that I’ve been a bit obsessed with since finding it on PurlBee. Click on the title for the tutorial.

Needlepoint Clutch, via Purlbee.com

This means that I need to figure out where all my needlepoint stuff is right now and probably make a trip out to JoAnn’s this weekend.I’m thinking of doing neutral with neon accents, as that seems to be the vogue. I love working with needlepoint btw, and haven’t really done a project since the altogether too-detailed Golden Girls picture. Too bad I never took any photos before I gave it away.

This also means that, while digging out my gear, I’ll probably do a little spring cleaning of my craft supplies. I might be giving away some of my extra crap, I’ll keep you all posted.

 

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Filed under crafts, inspiration

back in the (craft) saddle again.

I’m back! This time for the foreseeable future. I think. Happy belated holidays! Happy early New Year!

I’ve been crafting like crazy during the holiday season while also blowing my life savings on dental work, shopping for Christmas, celebrating Trent’s birthday, working more than I care to and ultimately getting a new job. It’s been a busy month. And, really, my crafts were all Christmas gifts anyway, so I used that to justify not blogging during the busy (nearly over) month of December. I should have checked in, but instead I’m going to cram this week with multiple posts to chat about each of my silly projects and what’s on the horizon for 2012.

Oh, and, if you think this has anything to do with Zelda, it totally doesn’t. I haven’t played the game for 3 weeks. LAME.

Let’s start there, actually.

I took a night off work with the intention of playing Zelda and drinking Vernor’s Ginger Soda in my sweatpants. In preparation for this evening, I woke up early, worked out (another thing that’s been on hiatus) and cleaned my entire house. I wanted to feel absolutely no guilt for the 15 hour video game indulgence I had planned. According to the UPS tracker, it was going to arrive any minute. I felt like a little kid, sitting by the window, the blinds drawn, just waiting for the guy in the brown suit to bring my new toy! Oh! Was that a knock? But I didn’t see the truck… Must be a friend visiting my downstairs neighbor. I couldn’t quite see who it was from the angle I was looking, so I made a quick dash to my neighbor’s door to see if it had been left there by mistake. NOPE. Instead, I found one of those horrible little brown and yellow notes informing me that they couldn’t get my signature and so had to take the package with them.

Anyway, after many tears and a few texts of (bewildered) consolation from the boything, I mustered up the courage to make arrangements to just pick the stupid thing up from the distribution center in the city the next morning. This worked out swimmingly, rendering the previous eve’s tears unnecessary, though my plans to stay home and play by myself were still ruined. The game’s awesome. I haven’t finished it yet, but I’ve already got some ideas for the craft that I’ll do to commemorate that day.

Speaking of dreaming up great crafts, I’m looking for some suggestions. After all the pain (and time and money) involved in fixing my tooth, I’ve got some great souvenirs. I’ll show you those in a minute, in the meantime, let’s take a pictorial journey through my dental procedures.

WARNING. There are about to be a lot of pictures of my teeth. Don’t know if yinz like that or not, but there you have it.

Step 1. I break my tooth and ignore it for two years. I finally decide to get it fixed when I start having some jaw pain. The dentist is impressed with how crappy my teeth are. Dr. Julie thinks a crown will be a good solution to the problem of the hole in my tooth. Also, after several x-rays, she reassures me that the pain is not caused by a bunch of tumors in my head. We decide that I probably grind my teeth. Cause, you know, it’s comforting to know that even while I sleep I’m angry.

See that guy, wayyyy in the back? He's an asshole.

Step 2. The dentist sends me to an endodontist to see if I might need a root canal. Dr. Mario (no joke) determines that I do not. He sends me back to Dr. Julie to start the process of getting the crown. This will require them to file down the tooth into a gross little nub after cleaning out any decay. She straight up hits a nerve with her evil little buzzy tools and back to Dr. Mario I go. Surprise! Root Canal!

Step 3. Dr Mario starts to give me a root canal. It hurts way worse than the last root canal I had and I cry silently in his chair while his assistant tries to wipe away my tears. He finishes it up and says “Come back  in two weeks, we’ll finish it up.” I continue to cry and pay my bill.

Step 4. Dr. Mario finishes the root canal. It doesn’t hurt the same way as before but my jaw locks up pretty bad and I spend the next week with the most god awful tension headache and a shitty spackling job of a temporary filling in my mouth. No pics cause it hurt to open my mouth.

Step 5. Back to Dr. Julie for the crown! Yay! Finally! Wait… it takes two procedures too? Oh ok. I was reassured by the hygienist that I would not need the painful looking metal rods jammed into my jaw because “Yeah, we only do that if you get, like, hit in the face with a bat or something.” I needed the stupid rods anyway, because “[I] really don’t have much tooth left for the crown to stick to,” according to Dr. Jules. They put a temporary crown on my tooth and it looked like it had Down syndrome. It hurt and stuff got stuck in it all the time.

It's all round and not toothy. Also, there's a hole in it already. It's clearly weaker than it's predecessor.

Step 6. Get the permanent crown and everything’s hunky dory.

Look at the detail. Those crevasses. That's a tricky fake tooth right there.

They pretty much just popped the temporary crown off in one piece and my mouth felt so much better. I kind of wanted to leave without getting the permanent. But it was already paid for and they assured me it wouldn’t hurt like the temporary. And anyway, the good thing about having your crown worked on is that it doesn’t happen in your mouth. So while they were filing and grinding away at my fake tooth, we were chatting about all manner of silly things. Like how Jules is really angry about the success of one Malcolm McCormick a.k.a. Mac Miller a.k.a. her neighbor’s son who just sings too many darned songs about weed, donchaknow? When I had a moment alone with the hygienist, what ensued was one of the more awkward conversations I’ve had recently.

Me:  So… do you think I could take home my fake tooth?

Her:  You want it?

Me:  Yeah, did you already throw it away? I mean that’s fine, I’ll still take it.

Her:  No, it’s right here. What are you going to do with it?

Me:  Well, I don’t know yet. But I have a craft blog and… well, I don’t really know. Make a necklace out of it?

Her:  A craft blog.

Me:  Shit. That sounds worse out loud. Never mind.

Her:  No, it’s fine, you can totally take it. Here do you want this mold of  your teeth too?

Me:  REALLY? I mean, you don’t need that for… the future or something?

Her:  No.

Me:  This is AWESOME.

Her: I’ll get you a bag.

So that’s how I ended up with a mold of half of my mouth that my little crown fits into perfectly. It’s sitting on my mantle currently and I’m trying to decide what exactly to do with it. Should I make a necklace out of the crown? Like a little resin charm? Anyone have any suggestions? I feel like eventually, the fake teeth need to be spray painted gold. Or maybe I paint it super realistically and just paint the crown gold and they stay together as a little weird sculpture. Hey the internet, let me know your thoughts! Here’s what we’re working with:

Finally, when I’m looking for craft supplies, I always check out the Frick Market. You can get anything there.

I’ll be posting for the next couple of days, going back in time to cover my Christmas crafts and other adventures. Sorry this one wasn’t craft specific. I’m planning for the future. Also, I’ve got to acknowledge some fun blogsy stuff. My girl Yinzerella needs a solid shout out and my next post will be perfect for it.

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Filed under for shame, inspiration, off week, upcycled